Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Wired: Post-Rapture E-Mail

Wired.com in an article titled Website Lets You Send a Post-Rapture E-Mail to Friends 'Left Behind'

For just $40 a year, believers [in the Rapture] can arrange for up to 62 people to get a final message exactly six days after the Rapture, that day when -- according to Christian end times dogma -- Christians will be swept up to heaven, while doubters are left behind to suffer seven years of Tribulation under a global government headed by the Antichrist....


The e-mails will be triggered when three of the site's five Christian staffers "scattered around the U.S." fail to log in for six days in a row -- a system that incorporates a nice margin of safety, should two of the proprietors turn out to be unrepentant sinners or atheists.


Pretty cool idea. I wonder why I never thought about that. Now I remember: I would be one of the guys who keeps logging into the system even after all people have left the building!

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Friday, May 16, 2008

Oh Microsoft...


A couple of months ago I decided to return my Microsoft wireless racing wheel and get a new one (or have it repaired) since it was still under warranty. The problem was that right out of the box, the wheel was not centered so when I connected the wheel to the external power supply, the idle position would be about 15 degrees to the right of the mid point of the rotation. I first tried to ignore it since I was not using the wheel that often anyways but then I found a free retrofit announcement on their website that called for people to exchange their external power supplies. I figured it would be a good time to send the whole thing back and get a new system altogether since two components of the system have problems.

I called Microsoft XBOX Customer Service and after convincing the dumb-computer-program-who-pretends-to-be-a-cool-guy to connect me to a real person, I was able to talk to someone overseas. After spending 10 to 15 minutes explaining the situation, the guy started asking me questions quite unrelated to the problem. It appears that Microsoft has a list of questions that the customer service people start asking if they don't know what the problem is! I interrupted him and said that the reason I was calling was simply to have my wireless racing wheel replaced under warranty because the wheel does not work properly. He finally got the idea and said that I could do it. Then he gave me an address to send all the components for a full replacement. Apparently I was supposed to find my own box, wrap the whole wheel in bubble wrap and other stuff, and ship the wheel and its accessories to the repair center in Texas using a traceable shipping method (like FedEx). The worst part was that I had to pay for the shipping as well! Well I thought it was not worth arguing but I had to make sure I understood it correctly so I asked him twice about the address, the fact that I had to send all the components, and if the shipping charge was my responsibility. I did it the next day.

A week later, a package came back from the repair center in Texas. I opened it and there it was: my new wireless racing wheel in a bubble wrap without any other support in a huge box! How unprofessional. And the worst part was that the accessories were missing. No power supply, no table-top extension, and no pedals. So I called them again and had to go through the same process but this time when I explained the situation to the guy from overseas, he came back after a while and said that their systems are down for an upgrade and I needed to call back in a couple of hours. I called back in a couple of hours and he said that he understood the problem and he was going to send the missing components to me. After calling them several more times, another package came from the repair center. There was my pedals but still no power supply, and table-top accessories. I called them again and again and every time I was either promised that the components were coming or I was told that the system is upgrading (At 5PM our time?! What are they thinking) and I had to call back.

During one of these calls, I was connected to a Canadian based customer service center (and yes I can distinguish Canadian accent) so I started explaining the problem and my frustration with the whole process. She assured me that she will personally follow up on the issue and I just needed to wait for three days for the repair center to verify that I indeed sent the components and then they ask them to send those items back to me. After five days or so, I received the third package from the repair center and finally I got the power supply and the table-top. But wait, where is the power supply cable?!!!!!!

I didn't bother to call them again. I could do with a generic cable from one of my other electronic equipments. But the whole process was a disaster. Many times during this one month period I decided to just give up and forget about the racing wheel. And I think this issue would not have happened if the first person that I called knew what he was talking about. I would have sent the wheel only and would have got it back pretty quickly.

But here's the funniest part of the story: After two weeks that the problem was solved, I received an empty box from Microsoft with prepaid shipping labels to send my old wheel back! Oh Microsoft...

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Wednesday, April 02, 2008

How to tick people off

How to tick people off:

  • Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
  • In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
  • Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
  • Practice making fax and modem noises.
  • Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
  • Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  • Ask people what gender they are.
  • Sing along at the opera.
  • Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

read more at artlung

Now here are a few more from me:

  • Tell everyone how "blessed" they are.
  • While in the elevator, suddenly move over and hold your nose.
  • When your fellow graduate student talks about "his" stuff in the lab, correct him by saying "you mean the lab stuff that you use more often". (this one works! I guarantee.)
  • On a busy sidewalk, look through your camera and pretend that you are taking a picture.
  • Call MS XBOX Customer service and when the Indian agent introduces himself as "Tim", tell him your name is Venkatanarasimharajuvaripeta
  • Record a greeting for your answering machine that says: "Phone number incorrect - please try again."
  • Record a greeting for your answering machine that says: "I'm not home but please leave a message for the FBI agent on line."

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Sunday, December 02, 2007

Amazon: You Can Buy Anything

I found this item on Amazon.com. It has the funniest reviews ever (Note to FBI: Don't worry, I was not trying to buy one!)



Uranium Ore
by Images SI Inc.
List Price: $24.95
Price: $22.95
You Save: $2.00 (8%)



Some of the many hilarious reviews:

The container said it was "Uranium Ore" but when I opened it, it was clearly Plutonium. I still used it, but I was severely disappointed.


The shipment was fast and came in a glad bag as an added protection. They didn't even require a signature for the package, so that was nice as I don't want people to know that I'm planning to take over the world with thise uranium ore.


I bought a can of this about 4.5 billion years ago, give or take a few million years, but when I went to use it today I noticed only half of it was still in the can. I swear I put the lid on tight. I'd give it more stars if it came in a better package.


Does any one know if this comes on the 3 oz travel size that is TSA approved?

I am also interested in the bulk pricing for the travel containers.

Thanks


When I finally finished and successfully tested my first plutonium powered Dolorean time machine, I was a bit miffed by the fact that I had to accelerate all the way up to 88 mph before the flux capacitor would be able to kick in and send me into the great beyond. This is quite a pain when you live in the city and have to drive all the way to places like closed shopping malls, drive-in theatres, abandoned highways, and rail road tracks to get up to that kind of speed. Once I heard that Amazon was finally selling U-238 legally, I quickly purchased some and used the instruction booklet (included at no extra charge) to enrich it and build myself a uranium powered reactor which I then installed in my time machine. On the first test run, the flux capacitor jumped into full gear at only 37 mph! Now I can go time travelling on my own street and not worry about the commute.

Thank you, Amazon for selling this fantastic and incredibly useful product! I'm sure that with careful marketing, in five years no American home will be without it.



read more reviews...

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Smart Bird



Thanks to Ali for the link.

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